Saturday, December 10, 2011

Shifty Eyes

I'm not sure I've mentioned enough how much I LOVE having a boy.  I love my girls so much and when I found out I was pregnant this last time with a boy I was a little nervous to enter into that unchartered territory, but let me tell you it has rocked my world.  I don't know, maybe, it's the combination of him being my boy and my third (maybe final) child, but sometimes I snuggle and squeeze and kiss and rock him in absolute denial that when he is 30 he probably won't want to let me do that anymore...I really think he might let me (hee-hee).  

My sweet bubs.  We had to take him in to see an opthamologist at the local medical institute because he has uncontrollable eye movement.  We found out he has congenital nystagmus (congenital meaning from birth).  It may or may not cause slight to significant complications with his vision.  As of right now we know he is really near-sighted.  They don't correct it right now but we will go back in a little over a month from now and be able to know more about what is causing it, and maybe a better idea of what the future will hold.  Am I surprised at the state of imperfection this side of heaven?  No, not at all, I expect it.  Have I cried?  Yes, indeed, I think it's the mommy in me.  I want him to be in a garden of roses but without the thorns.  Can I trust a perfect and sovereign God to give us every little thing we need to handle the circumstance no matter the severity?  Yes, I do.  He has given us EVERYTHING we need for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him (2 Peter 1:3) as written in his word.  I look forward with anticipation to seeing what and how the Lord sees us through.  I look forward to sharing more about Jesus with Rowen as he may struggle with his vision or being able to drive or play sports or people asking about his eyes.  

I pray that Rowen can sing this psalm 16 in his heart as worship one day.

"The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let you holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

and I pray that though he may not be able to focus his physical eyes on much that he will focus much on Christ as his strength, security, fullness, pleasure, comfort, keeper and so much more.  To God be glory and praise always!

Here is my sweet boy at 5 months.

I am due to write about all of us I know!  I have no time it seems these days but will try soon.  It is also apparent that I NEED a blog makeover for Christmas.